Christianity: Not a Self-Esteem Booster
by Luke McConnell
My family and I are in counseling and have been for nearly the entirety of the year we’ve been a family of six. Adoption is difficult, and we are not too shy to ask for help navigating these turbulent waters.
Mary and I had recently implemented a tally system to keep track of the number of times one of our children was disrespectful, unkind or not gentle toward us or one of their brothers. While sharing this plan at a recent session, our counselor mentioned there are two paths our child could take after being made aware of the high number of tallies. It could lead them to be appalled and desire to change, or it could lead them to feel defeated, that the mountain is too high to climb and just give up and give in to poor behaviors and habits.
As I’ve grown and matured in my faith, God has opened my eyes wider and wider to the sin in my life. Instead of my sins becoming fewer, it seems to be growing! At first, I wonder why I’m getting worse as an individual, but then I realize I’m not sinning more. I’m just more aware of it.
I think we sometimes expect sanctification, in addition to making us more like Christ, to make us feel better about ourselves in a general sense. But I don’t think that’s the way it works. Is there any way for us to feel better and better about ourselves when we’re becoming more and more aware of sin in our lives?
And so, we come to this place in our walks with Jesus just like my son. The big pile of sin we’re aware of can look extremely overwhelming, and it can make us want to give up, to give in and just not discipline ourselves to change. Or we can repent, let God forgive us and cry out to him for a changed heart and mind.
Here’s one thing we can’t do—work harder. Changing our hearts is not work we do; it’s only transformed by the work of the Holy Spirit. Mike Romero wrote an excellent article a few months back outlining this truth, and I encourage you to read it.
At the end of the day, we can all resonate with Paul in Romans 7. In amongst all of the rules is Paul’s frustration with his sin. His conclusion in verse 24 is quite reminiscent of mine: “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?”
Jesus can and will rescue us. Yes, it can be very disheartening to become more and more aware of sin in our lives, but that’s how the Spirit works within us to make us more like Jesus. Isn’t this how you clean your house? You clean the floor and then realize how gross the baseboards are. You clean those and then notice the ceiling fan. Suddenly, five hours have passed, and you’re still cleaning the same room!
So don’t be discouraged when you feel overwhelmed by sin. The grace of God is sufficient to cover your sin. Jesus’ death on the cross paid your debt. God doesn’t call you to try harder. He calls you to repent of the sin the Spirit reveals, to trust the work he’s doing in your life and to walk in obedience to him.
You might never feel great about yourself in a worldly sense, but you will be at peace. And you can feel great about that.
Author Bio
Luke serves as the Cube Director at Council Road. He previously worked at Channel 9 as a sports writer and an account executive. He also serves as the play-by-play voice for Southern Nazarene University athletics. Luke graduated from OU in 2011. He and his wife, Mary, have been members at Council Road since 2012. They have four boys: Andrew, Logan, Jackson and Cameron. Mary teaches third grade at Wiley Post Elementary. They also help lead a home group.