True Friends
by Kathy Shofner
A true friend will discreetly tell you about the lettuce stuck between your teeth. You can trust the true friend who says about the pants you are trying on, “No, those don’t make your behind look too big.” True friends always laugh at the same punchline in the same story they’ve heard so many times. The day I began writing this column, I opened a fortune cookie that read, “You will always be surrounded by true friends.” Coincidence? I don’t think so. Besides, you just can’t make up this stuff!
I have always considered myself blessed to have so many longtime true friends. These true friends use Jesus as the model for real friendship. In John 15:12, Jesus says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” True friends love each other enough to look beyond our flaws and love us as Jesus loves each one of us.
For over 60-plus years, my husband, Pary, and I have lived within one mile of Council Road Baptist Church. The poet Joseph Parry wrote, “Make new friends but keep the old; those are silver, these are gold.” Every Sunday as I sit in worship, I am surrounded by gold. I can scan the congregation and still see faces of friends who have known both of us since childhood. When we were young marrieds at CRBC, I organized a group of six couples to meet in each other’s homes six times a year for dinner. Not even a pandemic kept us from creatively continuing this fun for over 40 years now. We still laugh ourselves silly every time these “golden” friends meet. Since we retired, we’ve been fortunate to have many newer “silver” friends from CRBC who want to travel with us around the world. Bonded by a spirit of adventure, we’ve already made enough memories to last a lifetime but plan to continue traveling together for years to come.
True friends definitely provide the fun in our lives, but we also need Godly friends to make us better people. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another,” Proverbs 27:17. Our friends help hold us accountable to study God’s word, to challenge us in our small group discussions, to pray for each other, to remind us of areas of service in our church and community and to give generously to fund God’s work.
Also, we need true friends who will encourage us in service and in life in general. “Therefore encourage each other and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing,” 1 Thessalonians 5:11. Never has that been more applicable than during 2020 when we were kept separated from our friends and family. We all need an “atta boy” and a reminder that someone thinks we are doing a good job! True friends never hesitate to compliment each other.
Anyone would be glad to come to a party, but true friends appear when you are in trouble. “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up,” Ecclesiastes 4:10. Friends don’t ask if there is anything they can do to help you. They see what you need and do it: mow your yard, bring a meal, clean your house or supply paper goods and especially toilet paper. Sometimes they just sit and cry with you. If you have not yet suffered serious illness; loss of a child, spouse or parent; unemployment; debilitating depression or crippling loneliness, you will at some point in your life. Jesus tells us we are to be there for each other. We are able to overcome all of these problems with the love of Jesus and that of our true friends.
If you feel you could use more true friends in your life, what better place to find them than in the body of Christ at CRBC. Join a small group on Sunday, a Bible study group during the week or an exercise class at the Cube. Ask a staff member for a volunteer need at church or in our community (Hint - see Makenzie Magnus for a mission opportunity). Soon you will find yourself surrounded by people who love Jesus and want to love you.
Recently our praise team sang “Graves into Gardens” which says, “I’m not afraid to show you my weakness, my failures, and flaws. Lord, you’ve seen them all and you still call me friend.” What a powerful reminder to all of us to love each other as Jesus loves us! Only through this kind of love are we able to be true friends to each other. After all, we all need true friends in our lives every day.
Author Bio
Kathy spent 26 years teaching eighth grade English and managed to retire with most of her wits still intact. She enjoys a good book, trying new recipes, belly laughs with friends and checking out every new chef in town. When she’s not planning trips, she’s traveling with Pary, her husband of 49 years and chief partner-in-crime since she fell in love with him as a nine year old at Council Road Baptist Mission.