Your Hurts - God's Purposes are Bigger
by Stacee Goetzinger
So often on Sunday mornings, as I am making my way from one point to another in our church, I am pulled aside by people I may or may not know who need to share, if only for a moment, their desperate situation concerning themselves or someone they care about.
The look on their faces, their body language, their deep desire for answers and some sort of light within the darkness of the world of mental or emotional suffering, is something I never want to get used to.
As people begin to share their hearts, mine hurts for them, and often their words take my breath away. As much as I can think I want someone to sit with me and say that they understand my mind, my mental process, my daily fight to commit to life, to eat, to be in relationship, I am never prepared for the words that follow. And I never want to be prepared or numb to these issues, these diagnoses, these concerns.
It’s my privilege and honor to hear possibly you share your heart and trust me or even another community member with what’s hurting you, and furthermore, your life. As much as I can feel so alone in church with my screaming and trauma-filled mind, I also know I am exactly where God wants me to be. You are sharing, and I am praying. We are both growing.
You see, my suffering with mental illness is a diagnosis which seems to be growing rather than fading away, but it is not something for me to hide behind or to be my identity. But I have done this…no matter how much I struggle yet need to rest, or suffer yet need to fight, I’ve asked God to help me not forget what I’ve experienced and still go through. I’ve asked that He stay closer than a whisper during every minute of every day. Is that really necessary though, Stacee? I confess that I’ve tried to live this life on my own, and that is not an option that works for me. I fail, and my mind gets darker and more stressful to navigate even still. But this…this, my friends, is how God uses our lives. It’s how He uses our hurts. It’s how we know His faithfulness never ever fails. It’s how we support one another during the devastation and the joy.
“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I will remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:19-23).
When we live in community as the body of Christ, He wants to use you to lead others to Him. Whatever you are going through, ask God to show you how you can shine God’s light into and onto someone’s life until they can see and experience His light for herself.
Is it too much for you to share with me or another? Absolutely not. It reminds me once more that my suffering is not only about me. It’s about God using the body of Christ to lean into Him together.
Author Bio
Stacee Goetzinger is passionate about sharing the hope, resilience and depths of God’s sustaining grace and love experienced throughout her ongoing recovery journey from chronic anorexia, depression and anxiety. Stacee’s life verse communicates her story and purpose: “I will not die but live and will proclaim what the Lord has done” (Psalm 118:17).
Stacee is the author of the book, You Are Worth Saving: Letters of Hope from a Desperate Heart, and is a frequent speaker for conferences, retreats, churches and groups. She and her husband, Doug, co-host the Speak Out Loud podcast which is sharing hope and encouragement for those who struggle with mental health and for those who love and support them.
Learn more about Stacee and her ministry, Speak Out Loud, at www.speakoutloud.me.